


The best of the worst

by kurukapologist



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Group chat, Humour, Multi, THE FAM - Freeform, for once, i’ll be here a while if I tag everyone, most of my works are just misery misery misery, so I’ll just do the first few for now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-04-24 00:28:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22150264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurukapologist/pseuds/kurukapologist
Summary: The Doctor’s most recent group chat was really quite nice until her Tardis added River. It just goes downhill from there.
Relationships: Amy Pond/Rory Williams, The Doctor/The Master/River Song
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	1. Ruined my day

**Author's Note:**

> This will feature a few Classic Who characters, so just be warned. I do not own Doctor Who.  
I hope you like this - let me know in the comments if you do!

thedoctor: and thats how i stopped jack from setting the tardis on fire

ryan: cool! can we meet him someday

thedoctor: no

thedoctor: i like being alive 

thedoctor: and sane

yaz: how do I change my username

yaz: this ones kinda boring

thedoctor: dunno ask the tardis 

  
Sexy added riversong to the chat

thedoctor: ohno 

thedoctor: what have you DONE

riversong: hello sweetie ;)

riversong changed their name to hellosweetie

  
hellosweetie: im here to ruin your life

yaz: how did you change your name? ineedtoknownow!

hellosweetie: ...the tardis did it

thedoctor: yaz we have bigger issues rn WHAT THE FUCK RIVER

  
thedoctor changed their name to wtfriver

hellosweetie: BLAME THE TARDIS

hellosweetie: and stop yelling at me

hellosweetie: noone can hear ya

graham: I can. Can you please shut up? _Please?_

wtfriver: **rude**

  
themaster has joined the chat

wtfriver: who invited you

themaster: I don’t know. If it’s any consolation, you’re ruining my day too. And just when UNIT was actually getting nice

yaz: what’s he doing here

ryan: yeah I thought you’d got rid of him

hellosweetie: different master. bet you its goatee face

hellosweetie: but at least i have an ally. go pyschopaths!

wtfriver: h e l p


	2. Possibly a bad idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sexy decides to be annoying. That’s about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the update!

wtfriver: hello

wtfriver: please dont ruin it

themaster: ruin what?

wtfriver: oh gods

hellosweetie: didnt gallifrey ban any form of religion?

wtfriver: yes, but nobody banned mild curses

yaz: you don’t have religion???

themaster changed their name to ifounditfirst

yaz: no, river found it first

wtfriver: i hate to say it, but he’s right. river asked the tardis 

yaz changed their name to wellsohavei

ifounditfirst: what about timeline complications

ifounditfirst: e.g. memories - how are you going to explain this to different versions of us

  
Sexy added clara to the chat

Sexy added thedoctor12 to the chat

Sexy added ashildr to the chat

Sexy renamed the chat See Above

wtfriver: of for fuck’s sake

hellosweetie: is that the midget

ashildr: indeed it is

ashildr: have fun with this one, doctor 

clara: help. what do i do?

thedoctor12: ???

wtfriver: i’m the Doctor. i remember Clara now!

hellosweetie: i’m river and im here to ruin your life

ashildr: im always available to ruin your life

ashildr changed their name to iwillruinyourlife 

ifounditfirst: i suddenly feel your pain, doctor 

iwillruinyourlife: and i still don’t! funny how some things never change


	3. The Great Flamingo Fiasco

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor complains; everyone else argues. What’s new? Please don’t talk to the Doctor about the Great Flamingo Fiasco.

thedoctor12: why do I feel like you all hate me

iwillruinyourlife: can’t speak for everyone else, but i do! its not personal

clara: but... it is 

? has joined the chat

wellsohavei: who is this

?: now why would i tell you that

wellsohavei: to be nice?

?: you just used my username

?: don’t do that, it’ll confuse the morons

thedoctor12: how about we just throw random events at you to see who you are

helllosweetie: i second this motion. let it be known that I am a good partner

wtfriver: what about me, river 

wtfriver: moving on. do you recognise: gallifrey

?: yes

thedoctor12: unit

?: yes

hellosweetie: I get it. very clever. mentioning events from your life.   
  


  
wtfriver: The Great Flamingo Fiasco of 1989

?: shut up about that. YES

thedoctor12: some incarnation of the master then

wtfriver: the valiant?

?: yes...

wtfriver: the vault

?: yes

?: hint. I’m right next to you

thedoctor12: what

thedoctor12: I blame nardole


	4. And again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand everything goes to hell.

Sexy added Rory to the chat

Sexy added Amy to the chat

Sexy added thedoctor11 to the chat 

thedoctor12: not him

thedoctor11: ??? What do you mean, “not him”?

?: you just used my name 4 times in a row

! has joined the chat

ifounditfirst changed their name to .

Rory: what. What? Kill me now, I’ll probably survive but at least I don’t have to deal with this

!: HELLO

!: I WILL HELP TO KILL YOU

!: oh shit I left caps lock on 

iwillruinyourlife: this is

iwillruinyourlife: _so funny_

Clara: do you see anyone else cackling 

  
?: yep

.: me

hellosweetie: this is actually kinda amusing

  
thedoctor11: river?

?: what

thedoctor11: that is NOT what I meant

!: we know 

  
Martha has joined the chat

Martha: no

Martha has left the chat

thedoctor11: I still think I’m missing something 

?: of course you are, you’re an idiot

Rory: what the hell

Rory: Amy help

Amy: nah  
  


Rory changed their name to Amyhelp

?: btw life is homophobic

?: i tried to kill my past self and it didn’t let me live as well

!: that hasn’t even happened yet

Amyhelp: what.

.: what master 

Amyhelp: im leaving

Amy: you’re still here

Amyhelp: yeah shut up please

Amy: no

wtfriver: time to party!

hellosweetie: hoe don’t do it 

!: ...time to party master

hellosweetie: 🔫 


End file.
